Can Someone Tell Me About Anger Management? How Can I Control My Anger?

You know how they tell you to take a deep breath and count to ten? It doesn’t work does it? Well i tried doing that and i tried kick something really hard and yelling loudly. It didn’t work either. So basically the only thing you can do is wait for it to pass. One way i find that actually works is to write down everything i ever wanted to say to somebody i hate. The meanest things, then destroy it. Because if you don’t then it kinda feels like you’re holding a grudge (which is bad for you). You don’t want to hold a grudge-just let your anger out. So let it out, and then let it GO.

There is good news and bad news. Bad news first: you can’t control your anger – nor should you try to. Anger is an emotion – a natural one. What you are really asking is: how can you change your responses to anger? (I’m guessing you are currently choosing some poor responses).
Good News: Here are a few things you can do to resolve the issues that cause you to feel angry.
First of all, evaluate each situation. What is happening and how do you feel about it? Be specific as possible in identifying how you feel (the type of emotion – the intensity of that emotion). There is a big difference between feeling “annoyed” and feeling “livid”. Be sure you are calling the emotion what it is – sometimes you can escalate anger by using an exaggerated word to express how you are feeling. Decide how you would like the situation to be resolved – what is the best possible outcome for you and the other parties involved, both short and long term? Ideally you want to choose outcomes that don’t involve you getting charged for assault, uttering threats, or anything else stupid like that.
Second, tell the party or parties involved how you feel and WHY. Very often, we assume that the other people knew what they did and how it made us feel. WRONG! Most times, people are oblivious to how their actions affect others, and as a result they will continue to do things that tick you off until you make them aware of the consequences of their actions. Example, you might say, “Whenever you do or say __________, I feel really _____________.” The second part of this statement is to explain to the other party how you would like him/her to behave instead next time. It isn’t enough to tell someone to “stop it” – you have to explain how you want to be treated in future. The final part of the statement is to ask them for a response so you can get a dialogue going. The purpose of this conversation is not to make them apologize – it is to work together to resolve the problem that made you angry in the first place. If the other person apologizes, that is a bonus, but don’t expect it.
Lastly, once you have finished your conversation – regardless of how it ends (an apology, a resolution, an agreement to disagree), you need to release the residual anger that is left over from the conversation. Go for a walk, breathe deeply to re-oxygenate your body and brain, and to help bring your elevated vital signs back to baseline. Run the stairs, or go for a workout. Do something that will help release the tension that built up while you were feeling angry.
It is important to remember that anger is OK – what you do about it often isn’t. You have choices, and while you can’t control how you FEEL – you can control what you DO. If you’d like more information about Anger Resolution and how it works, visit the sites below.

Oh, I feel anger is the result of a situation that disturbs you sufficiently to become more emotional either toward yourself, the object of the difficulty, or others for the same or other reason.
I have learned that anger is like an ice burg, there is much more average stress that comes before that anger occurs. Try to visualize an upright rectangle representing our full mental energy. Now begin drawing in horizontal lines from the bottom up to indicate many layers of mental frictions all of us have to some degree. The space we have left then represents our leftover space to deal with new problems, new learning etc. Those layers of mental frictions represent our average stress. All of us are acclimated to many layers of mental frictions we may not be aware of for we carry them so often and fee fine or we are so used to them. For many persons, those layers of mental frictions may reach high levels. The space leftover to deal with newer mental work or situations then becomes quite small and also this smaller space shortens our reflection time or time to think – and plan -and consider how to improve a situation, usually causing some emotional reaction due to this difficulty.
So when we are “already dealing with high layers of mental frictions” we are not able to deal as effectively with some more difficult situations as well for we are short on mental energy and have a much shorter reflection time.
The events that can cause this could come from multiple parts of a situation: the event, the persons involved around you, prior experiences with those persons, frictions with various aspects of those persons, etc. Such situations represent a situational stress that may happen to any of us on top of our average layers of mental frictions at some time.
Of course we would like to be able to just deal with those events in good order right off, but this is usually not the case for many persons prone to anger. Such persons are usually dealing with much high layers of mental frictions all the time. So a person with this problem needs to begin learning how to more permanently reduce his average layers of mental frictions. By doing this, that person will have much more mental energy to think, learn, and deal with problems more easily and will have more reflection time to think, consider, plan, and make more constructive thoughts.
I have developed a way in my life to more permanently reduce average stress or average layers of mental frictions. This means slowly understanding all of the elements in your life and slowly learning how to eliminate many layers of mental frictions within your whole environment. When you do this you will lower your average layers of mental frictions and improve your thoughts, plans, learning, and many other good things. This tool provides a way to permanently reduce layers of mental frictions. We need to do more than just solve a problem creating a mental friction. We need to look at the elements in our lives that create those mental frictions or problems and our values that may be creating those problems. Then, we can begin to understand a little more each day how the elements of our circumstances and problems are creating mental frictions as they come up. Then with a small change in a weight or value we are placing on something in our lives and developing a mental principle or rule in a certain area of our life we can then resolve and more permanently remove that layer of mental friction. By slowly understanding how layers of mental frictions are created, we can then learn to approach those elements in our lives more correctly to keep like mental frictions from occurring in the future. This enables “all of us” to more permanently reduce layers of mental frictions that hurt our ability to think and learn. With each more permanently removed layer of mental friction we will continually improve thinking, learning, and extend reflection time (think more deeply, with more complexity, and more correctly). Remember, to more permanently reduce layers of mental frictions we need to change the principle or value that created that mental friction, “not just solve that problem” to prevent similar mental frictions from occurring.

Just think differently.

No because you won’t listen psycho