How do I build up and protect my self-esteem?

Please click on the link I think it will help you.

It takes time and experience. The better you know yourself the less someone is able to tell you something about yourself that you do not already know. People will drag you down into their games if you let them, just ignore them and learn to listen to yourself.

Be proud of the things u do, dont let others pull u down, dont stoop when u walk. Thnk that ur life is ur business and decision to make, not others’.

Self Esteem is self respect…, I believe building one’s self-esteem is not built..it is somehting innate, it has been there, it is not even acquired, commanded or begged….REpect from others is gained….no amount of effort is needed, it is just the personality of a person that dictates it to the eyes of the others, so if you have respect to others, automatically they respect you too….So to maintain that sel-esteem…show confidence, display a convincing and respectable image, show propriety, and always know your boundaries…it should exude in you….and no one can hurt you, challenge you no more, because you have it in you….and it will never be broken.

Base your self esteem on things that are not superficial, instead base them on who you are as a person. If you base you your self esteem on what you look like, or what you have, then you are basing them on things that do not really matter. If you know you are a good person, with good qualities, such as being a good listener or a good friend or polite and respectful etc then you know who you are and if you accept that then nothing anyone can say would be the truth but what you say to yourself… If people judge you remember who you are and that it is not their place to be judging anyone but them selfs.

Dont give too much weightage to what others think. Means dont look for their approval and dont be bothered by their disapproval. There are limits ofcourse. I repeat dont give too much weightage. Dont take this to mean dont give any weightage because that will make you something else. The trick is to listen to what others say but not to be disturbed by it. So that when they put you down you dont get that down in the dumps feeling and your self image is not hurt.

X+2=4 where X is the challenge or humiliating tactic and 4 is your self-esteem. Instead of letting the formula make sense by believing X to be a 2, make X=triangle or elephant or something.
In other words, as long as you think the criticism is irrelevant to your self-esteem (as it should be), then you can easily reject the input as false.
Strange way to put it, I know, but this is how you protect it.
As for building it up, that is tougher, because the very thing that protects you also can prevent you from building it. We learn as babies to reaffirm what we are told about ourselves. If there was no affirmation that you are indeed a worthy and important individual, there is less of a reason for you to think that on your own.
So your protection may actually prevent positive feedback from adding to your self-esteem.
In the end though, it IS Self-esteem, not others esteem of you, so build yourself up, and block out stuff from those you do not trust, and that will get you on your way.

This article below might help – all the best.

I’ve had the same problem as you and many people I’m sure have. You have to learn to devolop a thick skin.
My theory is that if someone says something negitive about you just think to yourself “so what!” That single person is what one in a hundred billion people out there in the world.
There is saying and it goes “A ship can only on sink if the water gets in.” It basically means that there is so much hate and judgement in our world and we cannot let one comment ruin or break us.
I know it’s hard and I’m still learning to have more self-esteem myself but just reminding yourself after every bad comment “so what!” it actually helps.
I hope I haven’t just been rambling and I hope I’ve answered your question alright.

I know I won’t get best answer for this, but this is comming from the heart!

I’ve always noticed that you lacked self esteem..just by the amount of questions you have about your body. I can tell you are not happy with it..and in turn not happy with yourself. And i KNOW that if you were ur ONLY judge..u would find NOTHING wrong with yourself. If u don’t believe me..try looking at yourself naked..as if no one had put an ideal image of a body in ur head…as if no one cared about your body or face. You would then feel like..”woah, i’m pretty hot”. I’m sure this has already happened to you..and it all goes away when you step out the door and realize that you are no the “standard beauty” type!

I know this because I’VE BEEN THRU IT! I know you are young becuz when I was young..i went thru that..but I did something to get me thru it!

This is what I did:

1) Change your attitude. Most likely you are a person who is as judgemental as they come. Not sure, but i’m taking a guess. Because if you are self concious, it usually means u are watching other people and critiquing them..and that has to STOP. Where you find a negative in someone, point out the positive.

Ex: “Omg..she didn’t comb her hair this morning..but atleast she doesn’t care what anyone thinks of her!” THis way you are not LYING about the situation..indeed her hair is autrocious..BUT she does have confidence..which makes her hot!

THis makes you a WELL ROUNDED person..which is what you STRIVE to be! You want to be someone who is HUMBLE, NON-BIAS, and open minded, and confident!

2) Get REAL friends..not superficial ones! A friend who sees things in a deep and realistic..yet fantastical way! A friend who doesn’t care about what other people says or does! A friend that willl look out for u and make sure you don’t get in trouble. A friend that inspires and BENIFITS ur life for now and years to come. All of this u will only find in ONE person (beleive me). Hard to understand, I know, but when you find them..you’ll know. My best friend got me thru highschool..and we BOTH inspired each other and uplifted each other.

3) NO BOYS! Guys only make things worse! I confident person is one who KNOWS themselves. Guys love to break a girl who has low self esteem! If you want to live a fullfilling life..and not wait until you are 40 to realize how much time you wasted..get on the ball! Get to know yourself! ENJOY freedom! Get to know yourself by examining your faults and working on them. Think about the fact that if you don’t prepare yourself for the future..you’ll never get where you want to be! How are you going to be a good mother if you are not a good and content person? How are you going to be a good girlfriend/wife if you are not a good person? Guys will come in TIME..and the amount of losers you run into..or hear stories about..will make you jump for joy that u skipped the drama!

5) I love how that guy put it with the X + 2=4! SO tru! And if you really actually examine the situation like that..it works! I sort of did something like that EXCEPT I was actually royalty in mind! Me and my Best bud became royalty together! We began associate all “bad minded” and arrogant people as PITIFUL PEASANTS who are beneath us because we are “above all the chaos and drama”! Sound pretty harsh but believ me, it wasn’t. Actually quite funny to us..and also to our classmates! THey even began calling us by our royal names and referring to themselves a peasants. It works well with the guys too becuz to us ALL MEN are peasants at the beginning! They earn there rank only when the prove to actually be worthy of our acknowledgement! It helps to weed out the bad ones. The rule is..if he sucks..throw him out and feed him to the lions! My boyfriend still to this day refers to me as “my goddess”..and he knows i will feed him to the lions if he offends me!

LOL..I know you are like WTF! But, this royalty thing has really become a success! Me and myy best friend actually grant royalty to people, we have a book all of them read to get into the royal alliance! And we have rules and special days for it! it wasn’t meant to get so far but because we carried ourselves as humble, intelligent, and confident people..everyone wanted to know how we became that way! Why was it that we were happy being single? Why were we not pressured to be bad?

Our answer was, “we are too royal for that. We don’t have to ACT that way to be Great..we already ARE Great!!” and if someone says, “yeah right” or “dumbasses” or whatever…we just remember how royalty should act..and then say..”typical peasant..” and sigh..

At the end of our highscool days..we passed out chocolates and things to people in our class..but we put special notes to the ones who made a difference in our lives in there own…people who were on there way to royalty!

And we are stilll like this to this day!

I know this is all too much for you at this point..but if you need elaboration or an uplifting talk..just email me!