How do you build self esteem?

You’ll need a lot of 2×4′s, the more the better, nails too. Find the best hammer you can find and a crew of workers you can trust.

we don’t build it, you do!

I’m going through the same kind of thing right now, too. My head knows that the only way I’m gonna get myself unstuck, and to have the kind of life I’d like to think I deserve (!)

For me, I’ve been focussing on my ‘near environments’. I’m trying, whenever I notice I’m making myself miserable, to do 15 minutes of exercises. (My body is my closest environment) For an ‘old’ woman to have upper arms she can show off makes me feel like my efforts are paying off, and that’s what I think self-esteem is about.

Taking care about the next environment (clothing/grooming) has been a real mood-lifter. For many reasons, I do my shopping at WalMart, the Sally Ann, and consignment stores. (except underwear). But taking the few minutes each evening to choose clothes for tomorrow means I’m dressing better and mornings are less stressed.

The next environment (housing) makes a real difference, too. When my place is tidy, and I know where to find things, I have more time and energy for beading, sewing, etc. etc., and I don’t have to be embarassed if someone drops unexpectedly. And I feel so much better about myself when my home is cosy and calm. Check out “FlyLady”s website. It’s friendly, funny, and very helpful. (Also “MissusSmartyPants” for good advice on choosing clothes, and wearing them with style.)

Picking up new ideas and skills keeps the mind occupied, and is a way of meeting new people. (I’m trying to learn belly-dancing, get my piano skills going again, polishing up my Spanish.)

Reading “Why Men Love Bitches” (by Sherry Argov (sp?)) would be a good idea, I think. Helps a person re-establish what’s important, and get a few laughs, too.

You deserve better!

you trusted someone and got burned…to say it bluntly, that’s part of the learning process, the key is to learn from it. Trust in love makes love the greatest thing in the world…the more you get burned and the faster you get at spotting losers, the better you will be, but understand this, this is a knife you will sharpen the rest of your life. And I’ve always found Jerry’s advice on Seinfeld, of there is always another one around the corner, to be a great way to look at it.
Get into a hobby you have been putting off. Exercise is great for this because most people need more of it anyways and the changes it will do to your body will shoot your confidence through the roof. If you dated in the 5 or 6 range in a scale of 1 to 10, exercise will only jump you up into a different league.

We all get knockbacks. The important thing is not let them derail us for too long. Get back on the horse, as they say. Here’s how you can get started doing just that…

Stop comparing yourself to others,
Get over it,
Accept yourself,
Keep a journal, and
Set some goals

Try all of these out in the next few weeks and try not to dwell on a past bad experience – life really is too short.

Good luck…