How The Hell Can You Make Yourself Happy When Your Purpose In Life Is To Make Others Happy?

You are supposed to be happy that you make others happy.

Why do you think your purpose in life is to make others happy?
It’s not. The purpose of your life is to make yourself happy, only by doing this will you have the mental strength to help others.
For example, a woman who cares for her elderly mother can be pulled in all directions…. she has to be there for the husband and kids as well as for the mother, yet she still need to find time to see her friends and time for herself. What most women in this position end up doing is ensuring that their children’s, husband’s and mother’s needs are met and ignoring for their own needs, so it’s little wonder that most women in this position end up with depression.
You do sound like you may be depressed and depression can give rise to many unpleasant, and often irrational thoughts and sadness.
How can you escape?
Make yourself a new purpose in life….first make yourself and your children happy, then others. In order to help yourself, sometimes you may have to turn away those that ask for your help, or limiting the amount that you currently do but your mental health will benefit considerably.

Education is never detrimental to any one person truly propelled to be himself,.
Only the things we find as not forgiving do we often give unto desperation.
This quotation is one I wrote in my first speech in college in 2005 to an audience of 250 peers. Here is a reason why this was so important; obsessive compulsions have a very strong denial factor and obviously kept hidden and only shown within the boundaries of a symptom called generosity. Do not get charity mixed in with it’s components there is a difference. Victimization is the goal of compulsions and obsession is it’s spirit. Until you learn to “unlearn” the anxiety driven celebrations then a life of denials will pervade you always. Happiness is not something you buy at WAL MART, you can’t see it, you can’t feel it because you are taught to behave accordingly, you can’t hear it, you can’t taste it, you can’t use it unless you give your “own permission!”
Volunteer Counselor Western Illinois University

You still have a pure feeling towards sad people. You are net contaminated by selfishness. Your ?feeling is natural and it’s how everyone should feel. Helping people makes you happy; you’ve ?already known the cure;….. but you can not change the world…If you concentrate in a specific ?helping target within your surrounding, such as an old man, or orphan, or poor family… etc with ?the anything but in continuous matter as long as you can do it as commitment. In other wards, be a ?reason of someone’s happiness. This is your escape, and this is your part towards your feeling.?

You have a very rare and wonderful gift – to be able to really feel another person’s emotions and to empathize with them. Don’t let others tell you to give that up. Too few people are truly concerned about other people’s welfare.
As for yourself, you have to try to compartmentalize your own feelings. There is always going to be saddness and pain around you, and at times it is difficult to feel happy. But you have to try to separate that part of your life from the things that really make you happy. Think about what you like to do and your long-term goals. Think about how far you have come in your own life and where you want to go. Try to focus your attention on these things – acknowledge that there are others who aren’t blessed with good fortune, but don’t always have their feelings in your mind. You ARE NOT them. You’re own life needs to be lived and I know there are things that make you happy. Don’t feel guilty about them. True happiness, I believe, is about feelings of peace and contentment with the world around you. You have to find that in yourself by thinking about YOUR life – not other people’s!

Who told you your purpose in life is to make other people happy??? If you believe in this anyways here is the answer – happiness attracts happiness, once you become happy you won’t see that many people in distress…Surround yourself with enthusiastic and optimistic people and get out of the vicious cycle!

As we seek to be happy, we should remember that the only way to real happiness is to live the gospel. We will find peaceful, eternal happiness as we strive to keep the commandments, pray for strength, repent of our sins, participate in wholesome activities, and give meaningful service.

I think our job is to just not make someone miserable and do no harm to them. Helping someone should generate self satisfaction, if it is burden, then don’t do it. If one could not sustain objectivity, all or most of our doctors, EMT’s,firemen, police, etc. would have quit or be in a loony bin.

If it doesn’t make you happy to make another person happy, then you are helping the wrong person/people. I do many things to make my husband and kids happy, and it makes me happy in the process.

U need to RE prioritize, and just realize that people have to take care of themselves. U can’t just wave a magic wand and make everybody happy. U will go nuts if u keep trying to please everybody.

Pretty simple really, your not selfish if you set some time for your self to be happy and get what YOU want. Instead of worrying of others a// the time just relax. anyway, try it!

You shouldn’t feel obligated to help people…But I sense that you probably get some enjoyment from helping others….Try and be grateful for those you can help and not dwell on those you cannot.

For most of us, helping someone makes us feel better about life, especially as we get older.
Maybe you’re depressed?

suicide! lol jk.

First, I would suggest learning to be selective. You sound like you have what is called a “savior” role that you easily fall into. You need to back off for your own health’s sake.
I would suggest you take a peak at the books below, and see if you think it may help. In short, you need to reprogram your brain in some areas.http://www.amazon.com/Ten-Days-Self-Este…
ORhttp://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Good-Handb…
Hint: It doesn’t help unless you do the written exercises, and it willk definitely take work–not instant cures.
Also, check out this free online personality test–very accurate if you answer the questions honestly and realistically…http://kts2.personalityzone.com/user/reg…
Once you’ve taken the test, go here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myers-brigg… and scroll down to the paragraph titled: “Type dynamics and development” and look to the right at the rectangle titled “The Sixteen Types” and find your four-letter type and click on it, and read about yourself! If you answered the questions on the test honestly and accurately, you’ll be amazed at how well you’re described!
It can really help to understand yourself better!

I am pretty sure that others have had this problem too.
It hurts doesn’t it? When you see other people in pain you feel in pain.
People pleasing is a lot to struggle with. People are drawn to you for help ove rand over again. But let me ask you something, how many times were those people there for you when you needed help? nada…right?
I struggled with this too and I believe that these tips might help you:
~Buy a small craft box made out of wood (cheap one like at wal mart will do): Then decorate it with magazine clippings or draw all over it. Glue on the outside stuff about what all the people expect of you or what they think of you. Then on the inside glue stuff what you (and only you) think of yourself.
This exercise is designed to realize that you are your own person. When you give and give you kind of forget about youself.
~Meditate. I bet you anything that you might be suffering a little insomnia too from all your worry? Meditation will help you center yourself. Take a break for ten minutes a day and play some soft music and focus on your breathing.
~Be mindful. Looking up and notice the birds and listen to the sounds. You’ll be surprised how better you’ll feel. Also make it a goal to smile to 5 or 6 people a day before your next distination because it’ll help you become at ease.
~Exercise. I know some people might not like it but it does help you focus on you and not others for awhile
~Passion. What’s your passion in life? Find it. Often when we are consumed with what we want to do any sadness or other adverse feelings fade away.
~Time management: SUPER important! Limit yourself with people. You have your own needs that should come first, period. Its okay if the people that ask for help get angry they’ll live, honest. If you have those lengthy conversations that leave you drained be upfront; tell the individual before you engage that you only have ten minutes to talk then you have to leave. They should understand that much and no one leaves angry.
~Have someone to listen to. Even if its a counselor. It’ll help you find yourself again in this mess and put some control over your sensitivities with other people.
It’ll get better because this is something you have control over.
It might take awhile but once you find yourself again amongst that muck of always giving and giving, you will feel much better!