How To Establish A Positive Attitude Towards Something You Can’t Change?

if it is like you say, something that once forgotten – you will be able to move on, then you need to do just that..
manage to forget about it, and move on..
it is so much harder than just a few words though..
firstly (i dont know what it is, so i can’t 100% help you..) whatever it is, know that it isn’t worth you having a poorer quality of life over.. if its something that will cause you pain everyday of your life, its not worth it.. you deserve better than that!!!!
second – you need to tell someone, a close friend, a family member, or even professional help..
third – write about all the good things that will come about if you forget it..
you will be less stressed
you will have better quality of life
you will have more emotional energy to focus on other things
you will have more time/energy for things you enjoy..
every day write at least one thing.. and slowly, you will realise these things are worth so much more than anything else that is blocking up your life..

i dont know sorry

It’s normal that you feel bad about that thing you’ve been done in the past, ’cause obviously you still have consciences. Only psychotic and sociopaths don’t care about bad things that they do. But, don’t torture your self too much about it ’cause it can effect your relationships with your closest ones, whatever it was it stays in the past and even if you could change it it would still be something that happened actually. So, try to enjoy in your life ’cause, trust me, it’s too short to think about the things from the past.

You have to accept the facts.. you cannot change the past.. what happened happened.. count your losses but move on.. you did not really lose you learned a life lesson.. you are only a loser if that experience about the inevitable makes you stop and you won’t go and try again.. you have learned from the past.. maybe it was meant to go wrong or maybe you need to change your strategy to get there… or maybe you should strife for a different goal and what you pursued was not meant for you . then you have to bear all that in mind.. try to find out what you really want out of life.. and go after that goal.. and if you want it bad enough and put your effort in it and don’t give up if it gets a bit difficult you will achieve what you want to achieve and it will be a more valuable road to victory if you had to take a few roundabouts to get there because then you know you always have to give your best to achieve something and you will never take it for granted and you can be truly proud of yourself. and in a relationship that doesn’t work out.. it’s the same.. you don’t give up because of one bad experience.. you know not all people are the same so you need to be cautious but you build up trust toward the other person and a friendship and respect on both sides and eventually you will trust again.. and love again.. that goes for relationships that fail .. if one fails it doesn’t mean the next one will and the other example goes for everything else in life.. xxx

I respect your privacy in not wanting to expose the initial problem and its quite understandable.
Things happen to us all somewhere in our life that are unpleasant and can certainly leave their marks as is the case with you. You say you have battled with these giants for a long time and they have you bound to them. You see the reason is that there is an initial hurt that has caused all kinds of negatives to flow from it. For example rejection is a mother of many negatives and from it will come despair, anxiety, unworthiness, self-pity, distrust, anger, hate, hopelessness, thoughts of suicide and death wishes, murderous thoughts etc etc etc. Is hard not to move into that realm by entertaining negative thoughts and sadly negative draws on negative. When one knows one should choose the opposite one just cannot FEEL like doing it and it becomes a repetitive self whipping process of condemning oneself to the point of self loathing and crucifying oneself for allow whatever happened to happen and questioning “why me”, entertaining feelings of anger against God for allowing whatever happened to happen. Our minds are a battlefield to say the least and can cause us a war of thoughts and feelings and emotions.
Look to God and pour out your heart to him. Tell him how you feel. Record your prayers and see how with time God begins the healing process and completes it. Who better than asking our creator to become an integral part of our lives and by doing so you complete the plan that he has for your life. God is positive. A life without God is fruitless and has no meaning. He will show you why you are here, who you are in him and who he is in you.
For a start, God knew you before you were born and knit together in your mother’s womb. When he made you he was happy with what he had made and then he gave you talents and gifts that would be your tools. He made you unique, exclusive and to be somebody. To him you are precious, special, loved, wanted, needed, one of a kind and he has a purpose for your life on this planet. All you have to do is seek him and find him and walk your life with him as the pilot of your ship. Right now you fear having to give up things or become something you think you have to be to please God, but actually how you are now is good enough for God. In other words regardless of the things that came your way and not by the way initiated by him either, he accepts you just as you are, even if you are smoking or whatever. Warts and all!!!! Walking the road with him, you are submitting your life to him and allowing him to lead you, guide you, teach you, love you, straighten paths that went skew, heal you and show you things that are positive, kind, good, loving, joyful, happy, peaceful, patient, enduring and self controlled, faithfulness and of course his mercy and his grace. You really are special and he wants you to know that and accept the way he thinks of you. He says I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you etc. That is found in the book of Jeremiah. Through him the word says you can do all things, because nothing is impossible. Delight yourself in him and He will give you the desires of your heart! God will help you overcome all your grief and hardship and pain and he will break down the walls you have built up around you and teach you to make bridges rather than build walls. In other words, he will show you that when you reach out to others instead of blocking others from getting or reaching out to you by building up walls, you begin your healing process. When you begin to help others and reach out, that takes the focus off self and then opens your spiritual eyes and you begin to heal. Maybe it all sounds strange to you but I really can vouch for that and I am sure many others who have searched and found God can do so too.
Meanwhile whenever these thoughts come up to haunt you, begin to pray and say “Lord, please come and help me, I need you. Help me to take my focus off the thing that obsesses me and take it away from me. Your word says I must simply cast all my cares upon you and you will give me rest. I give you this………………………………… him everything. He knows already but he needs you to simply tell him yourself). Its like speaking to us or someone else. You are speaking to God and you may and he wants you to. He needs you to learn to relate to him as your real father and not as your earthly father . Give him everything. Leave nothing out. Just be absolutely honest. You cannot hide anything from him.
Every time the bad thoughts come to haunt you CHOOSE not to listen to them and say Lord I will no longer dwell on these thoughts because I have handed the incident to you. Help me think of happy things. Begin to focus on God. Read psalm 23 and personalize the psalm. “Lord you are my shepherd and I will never want for anything, because you love me and care for me and because I have chosen to walk with you. Take each line and pray your thoughts about the scripture together with the scripture. Go right through the psalm. I guarantee you that when you have finished you will not ever think about the problem. You have taken your focus off it. The more you do this the more the problem thoughts will recede until you have created a new and a constructive habit to rid you of the old one. Each time the thoughts come grab onto Gods life line and let him haul you out of the pit of self-pity until you no longer have the desire to even go there.
You can do this. All it takes is a choice. A good one too.
God bless you and make his face shine upon you.