April 22, 2010

How to handle problems and stress in life?

I feel like I need some help with some problems. I am 22 years old TRYING to survive in this awful economy. I work fulltime, I have credit card bills from paying for books and school stuff, I have insurance, cell phone, car payment you name it. I feel like I have the bills of a 30 year old with 3 or 4 kids. The problem is I don’t know how to cope with it, I don’t have great parents because of there addiction to gambling so i’ve taught myself how to manage money and the importance of keeping good credit since my parents obviously didn’t feel that was a smart thing to do considering they gambled themselves into bankruptcy. I am working fulltime clearing about 400 a week. I have put school on hold for right now because I have to do it all on my own. I have about 700 in bills monthly however that doesn’t include gas, food, etc. I don’t shop because I make sure my bills are always paid. Now i’m to the point to where I need to get an apartment because I can’t deal with my parents anymore. How can I find a better job to where I can afford that? I have so much experience, human resources, legal secretary, management, leasing, sales and collections, receptionist, secretary, i’ve done all that. I feel like i’m under paid now maybe that’s just Kentucky for you. I realize I should be happy to even have a job the way the economy is but my stress level is way too high. My boyfriend on the other hand is 26 was given a house to live in and his parents pay all the expenses so that he can finish school and he works part time making about 180, he only has to worry about a cell phone bill which to me thats not much of a bill. I used to live with him and it was so much easier then because he lives about 10 minutes from my job while my parents are 50 miles one way from my job. He doesn’t want to live together right now because we did move way to fast in the beginning wound up breaking up and now that were back together our relationship is awesome, but I do miss living there with him more then anything, I feel like he’s the only person I have he’s like my bestfriend and boyfriend all in one. I do stay with him 3-4 times during the week but those other days I spend with my parents and I just can’t handle it anymore. My mom will ask me for money for her gambling problem and gets mad when I won’t give her that. I am taking some left over anti dep. from my doctor from last year because I get stressed to the point that I just cry. I am very independent however i’d give anything to of been able to have everything paid for and just given to me like my boyfriend. I can’t afford an apartment right now unless I find a better paying job. Any help??

Comments on How to handle problems and stress in life?

April 22, 2010

good guy @ 1:10 pm

Wow, tough question. Wish i had an easy answer, but i don’t—your situation HAS no easy answers. That said, my advice will be tough to follow, i realize this. First, unless your boyfriend lets you move in, your choices are (1) move out of home with little/no way of paying rent, or (2) staying put with mom and dad. Tough choice; stay at home FOR NOW. Staying put will allow you a little time to pay off some bills and reduce the costly unnecessary ones. As soon as possible, go to http://www.craigslist.com and look for the “rentals available” section in the city nearest your work. Look for others who have placed an ad looking for a room mate and make some calls. You sound like you have a budget, so look for something you can afford—once you move out, you don’t want to move back home, so make sure you can afford the rent. Sure, you’ll be moving in with a “stranger” but it sounds like a better situation than continuing to live at home. Plus, you’ll be living closer to work. Maybe, also, while you look for an apartment, you can also look for a part time job to add to your income, or better, look for a good paying job—if you have all the experience you say, you are well qualified to do a lot of different jobs. You also could think about starting your own business in a field you enjoy. Don’t worry, many young people start their own business, age is unimportant here. Finally, think long and hard about the bf—if he truly cares about you, he will help you every way he can. It honestly sounds like maybe he isn’t all that into you, since i’m guessing he knows your situation and hasn’t offered to help. That may sound mean to say, and if true, it will hurt, but you are dealing with reality, not a prince charming fairy tale.

Also, think about going back to school, maybe living on campus, if possible, where your food and lodging are paid for. Check the bulletin board for possible roomies. All in all, yes, you are in a sticky situation with many paths to choose. Keep that budget and be aware, things will be different in a year or two and you want to first, maintain your independence while at the same time better your financial situation. It will be tough, but when you overcome the hurdles, you’ll be wiser and stronger. Good luck.