January 29, 2010
How Would One Know Whether Or Not They Had Low Self Esteem?
A domestic abuse counselor told me I have low self esteem; yet, I feel as though I’m a good person and like myself. How can I have low self esteem? I know that I did during most of my marriage, but thought I had conquered that. I’m afraid I might be slipping backwards and don’t know it.
Suggested Reading:
The Self-Esteem WorkbookThis classic is still the most comprehensive guide on the subject and the only book that offers proven cognitive techniques for talking back to your s... Read More >
Related Posts
Filed under Self-Esteem by 
Leave a Comment
Comments on How Would One Know Whether Or Not They Had Low Self Esteem?
I, more so, have a fear of success, I think. Here’s an answer I gave to someone last night. Hope it fits this question…
This is a good question. When I was little, I was on the portly side and kids would tease me. I also didn’t receive much parental attention, so perhaps I wasn’t was well groomed as I should have been, and was shy. When I hit my teens, I totally thinned out and played a lot of sports, but that lack of confidence remained, and, while I imagined I were normal looking enough, I mostly dated “average” women and sought long-term relationships. Then I met my wife at 19 and she would constantly reinforce the fears I had about my looks. This seems silly in retrospect, as I was a college athlete and probably good looking enough to date ANYONE I wanted. But women who are insecure tend to plant seeds that make you doubt yourself so that you stay with this person.
It wasn’t until I was mid-30s that I realized I had aged well, and was better looking than most people my age, plus I have decent societal status (through hard work) and am considered a “catch” by many that changed my opinion about myself. The good news is, I still have a few good years left and my confidence is fine.
A domestic counselor , maybe this person is referring to abuse you encountered during your relationship? You ot stand up for yourself, were asked questions probably like, why did you not leave the relationship, why do you not stand up for yourself, what are you afraid of in the next relationship. The good thing about this is that you have the answer inside you. You know how you think and feel, you are not going backwards , you now just able to see and identify possible weaknesses . Stand proud and strong , you are no 1.
You might have a bad counselor, or your in the stage of denial. If you want a quick and easy test I’ll tell you. Go to a bar or somewhere public, get a beautiful girl to slap you real hard, and if you feel bad then you have low self esteem. Try it, it works.
The counsler probably wanted to see your reaction to that comment, they do that kind of stuff all the time, just like a shrink does. If you feel okay, you probably are. Take care.