What Can I Do To Help My Husband Since He Has An Anger Management Problem?

Well one tip for you two would be to have a good discussion when he is not angry. Talk about ways to give each other signals when arguments may arise or if you feel that it is going to escalate. Make an agreement that one of you should leave the room and wait until the other calms down to discuss whatever the issue is about. Also, maybe have a code word that means to do this or to mean to stop and think about what they are saying–to let them know that they are getting on the out of control path. Also, if the person says something really hurtful and mean, tell them that you love them and you know that they do not mean what they are saying right now because you know that they are angry. Then give the person time to cool off.

Get help for yourself, too. Don’t let him take out his anger on you or if you have kids, them. My husband wouldn’t get help, so I finally left him with his anger management problems. Good thing, too, because now I have to deal with three more testosterone driven young men (my sons). My husband shot himself, not me, thank god, after I left him, but he scared my middle son for life as he was with his dad at the time. So, the middle and the youngest are in therapy. The oldest is in college and trying to work it out himself. He is much more peaceful and I pray every night for the boys that they find peace in their lives. As for me, I have found in addition to prayer, that swimming, biking and Yoga every day detoxes my own physical and mental anguish. It releases the endorphins so vital to sanity. It works.

There are many good methods to work on controlling our anger. That he is working on it is good, but if he and you were to work on it together and separately, that would be great.
What can you do to diffuse his anger without his cooperation? He has to learn to walk away from situations that he hasn’t mastered control of himself in yet.
Ideas to work with: Walk away. If you’re angry, change what you are doing. So if you are lying down, stand up; and vice versa. For example, if you’re pent up with energy running around angry, sit down or lay down in the quiet and breathe deeply.
Splash water on your face to cool down. Take a shower. Say a prayer. Take a walk or a run. Do things that have worked in the past and avoid things that have aggravated the situation.
And remember that if you are working on this together, you are doing a great job already. Life goes in stages. Trust that you will get through this one if you apply the knowledge and hard work that Allah gave you the ability to use.
May Allah grant you Peace, Mercy, and Blessings.

Handle this with great care, please, because you don’t want him to turn his anger on you and he may, if he feels that he’s being judged or patronised. This is very general advice – one would have to know you both better to be certain – but I would counsel you to avoid saying (or doing) anything that could read as ‘Gosh! That anger management course is really working for you.’ Instead I’d try to concentrate on showing him how much more fun he is to be around now: for example I’d rather say ‘That was a great meal (or game, or whatever you’ve just done together)’ but *not* add anything that would read as ‘and it wouldn’t have been so good before you started going on that course.’
And then, from time to time, say that you really appreciate the hard work he’s putting into the course and how much happier you are.
Hope that helps.

Keep him heavily medicated

don’t piss him off. help him buy not pushing his button.also let him know what you want to be happy if you both help each other it should get better. he is angry as something is not going right and that is his way of screaming out