why do you think self esteem is so strongly determined by how people believe they are evaluated by others?

its like a democracy mass descision is the answer you know? i had my self-esteem affected on others now i could give a shyt lol when someone says somethin ima let them kno im not gunna waste my time and if u cross me the consequence is on you lol but its mainly because if many ppl see u in one way you think you are and begin to lower ur self-confidence

Human beings have relied on social ranks for forever; I think it makes sense from an evolutionary perspective.

Self esteem is basically scoring how you compare to others
Their viewpoints can confirm or deny what you believe

self esteem is a personal thing that is governed by other people if there was no self esteem (and i dont mean a low self esteem…i mean that it is just not there) we would lose the individuality that makes us alive. (animals have self esteem and viewpoints as well) ie. lioness’s go for the dude with the biggest mane whereas “small mane” walks around shamefully and secluded.

Ah looking glass self. You are asking a sociology question. As for the answer the textbooks provide the best evidence based ones out there but since this is yahoo answers I will try my best.

Self esteem is a higher level function. It is not present in any other animal in nature that cannot classify its self into an individual category. Since we have progressed beyond the ranks of a mere fish, goat, ape, elephant or ant for that matter (some of us still haven’t we had to fill this greater caveat of intelligence with a defense mechanism or coping mechanism of individuality. Our egos (higher level structure along with the id, and superego) require us to feel unique and purpose driven. Without this we would have never progressed. Since all humans are basically the same in a species stand point (we tend to think all deer are the same but they all have slightly different dna like us) but they are all deer, not bob, joe, betty or sue. We do not need a self-esteem if we dont have individuality.

This is merely a by product. It has to exist and would be impossible to function without it. Those whom say they dont care what others think are merely lying. The only ones that dont care are people with antisocial personality disorders because they dont feel like we do.

If you didnt care what others thought you would create chaos (murder, suicide, or any other non productive function) and our society would persecute you.

Its such a general term that I could go on for hours but basically its a term to represent a whole dynamic system of coping. Self-esteem is a misleading term that doesnt really mean a specific definition.

Every evaluation is done with the purpose to grade the character or achievements of another. It’s only natural that the person being evaluated be anxious about his or her
self-esteem because no one likes to be downgraded. It’s in the nature of being human to be looked up to.

The term is “SELF Esteem”.

It has only to do with Self. It has nothing to do with what anybody else thinks of you or what you *think* somebody is thinking about you.

Anyone who feels that their ‘self esteem’ is determined by how they believe they’re evaluated by others, are severely *lacking* in self esteem.

One with true SELF esteem couldn’t care less what anybody else thinks of them and that is a VERY free, happy and secure place to be.

Says my ‘Self’.

Because other people are your reality. What would you be like growing up with monkeys. It has happened. You will act like the other monkeys and not look in their eyes. But there is another reality.

That is the reality that is inside of you. You can go inside and be influenced by the reality of your true self and be really happy and feel perfect peace and have total self-esteem regardless of others.